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What's On! In Phnom Penh Apartments or Hotels and Guesthouses. Short or long term. |
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February 2009 Getting away from it all is less of an excuse and more of a reason why so many escape the heat and dust of the capital Highway 1 has bittersweet memories for most Khmers over a certain age. It was one of the main roads that foreshadowed the death knell of a generation at the hands of the Khmer Rouge. Several years later more armour crossed from Vietnam, drove the KR into the jungle and introduced the Cambodian people to another form of repression. ![]() Luke Young As we head into the annual power cut season, here’s some advice designed to get you through the darkest of nights Let There Be Light Candle power reigns supreme in a country where blackouts can last for hours and the telly’s screen goes blank just as the big match kicks off As most of you have noticed, except those considered by the governing authorities to be superior to the rest of us, Phnom Penh is once again facing its darkest hours as its resources of energy are pushed to the limit. To be fair, we were warned during the rainy season last year that during the hottest months of 2008 there would be rolling blackouts and power cuts. Adapted Turtle Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. "Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted." Mother In Law A husband and wife walked up to view the body of his mother-in-law at the funeral. As he began to weep, his wife slapped him and said: “Why are you crying, you never liked my mother anyway!” The husband replied, “I know, I thought I saw her move!!” Smart Diagnosis Machine One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor." So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the drugstore. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure. Jack hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints the following: 1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. When Santa Gets Annoyed Dear Santa, I wud like a kool toy space ranjur for Xmas. Iv ben a good boy all yer. Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to being a career lawn care Santa ****** Dear Santa, I want a new bike, playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum Dear Francis, Who names their kid 'Francis' nowadays? What a fag name. Santa ******* Dear Santa, I really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE Timmy Timmy, That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap don't Santa ******* Dearest Santa, We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get in to our home? Love, Mark, First, stop calling yourself 'Marky.' That's why you're getting your Santa ****** Dear Santa, I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for Dear Susan, Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the reindeer fart in my face. Santa ****** Dear Santa, I've written you for three years now asking for a fire truck. Please, Dear Joey, Let me make it up to you. While you sleep, I'm gonna torch your house. Santa Rude Theater Guest A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in a theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The man groaned but didn't budge. The usher became impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager." Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager. In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's your name?" "Sam," the man moaned. "Where ya from, Sam?" With pain in his voice Sam replied... "The balcony." |
Almond Hotel Amber Villa Family-run hotel near Independence Monument, shopping, markets, exciting attractions, NGOs and government offices. Khmer stylish decor rooms with balcony and amenities including in-room safe, DVD and Internet. 1A, St.57 - 012 929 128, 023 216 303 [$$-$$$|CC] Anise Hotel Comfortable boutique hotel set in a popular area to the south west of Independence Monument. 2C, St.278 - 023 222 522 [$$-$$$|CC] Billabong Hotel Comfortable, well-appointed rooms in the heart of the city. Alfresco dining including poolside BBQ. Western facilities. 5, St.158 - 023 223 703 www.thebillabonghotel.com [$$-$$$|CC] Blue Lime Recently-opened boutique hotel on a quiet street with a great swimming pool. 42, St.19Z - 023 222 260 [$$|CC] Boddhi Tree Traditional Cambodian-style wooden guesthouse with wonderful open balcony. 50, St.113 - 016 865 445 [<$-$] Bougainvillier Hotel Finely finished riverfront hotel, stylishly decorated with all amenities including ADSL internet. 277G, Sisowath Quay - 023 220 528 www.bougainvillierhotel.com [$$$|CC] Cambodiana Hotel One of the city’s finest hotels, located on the riverfront. Recently renovated. 313, Sisowath Quay - 023 426 288 [$$$|CC] Hotel Cara Centrally located, 51 uniquely designed rooms with meticulously crafted furniture made from local Ratanakkiri wood, offering private balconies overlooking the bustling urban metropolis, and modern amenities to fit all your needs. 18, St.47 (at St.84) - 023 430 066 [$$-$$$|CC] Del Gusto Café Villa-style guesthouse with high ceilings and beautiful hardwood floors. 43, St.95 - 012 446 710 [$$-$$$|CC] FCC Phnom Penh Rooms with all amenities in old colonial building. DVD and internet access. Large balconies overlooking the riverfront. 363, Sisowath Quay - 023 724 014 www.fcccambodia.com [$$-$$$|CC] Flamingos Hotel Mid-range hotel with comfortable rooms located close to the centre of town. 30, St.172 - 023 221 640 [$$|CC] Frangipani 60s Architect-designed boutique hotel on a quiet street, offering a unique, well-priced accommodation experience, together with all amenities including a laundry service and free WI-FI internet. 20R, St.252 - 012 687 717, 016 581 045 www.frangipanihotel.com [$$] Frangipani 90s Architect-designed boutique hotel on a quiet street, offering a unique, well-priced accommodation experience, together with all amenities including a laundry service and free WI-FI internet. 25, St.71 - 011 348 883, 016 581 045 www.frangipanihotel.com [$$] Frog & Parrot Inn Budget guesthouse with a choice of en-suite air-con or fan rooms from $8. 175, Sisowath Quay - 012 1909 685 [$] Goldiana Hotel Centrally located hotel with all amenities - very popular with visiting NGO people. 10-12, St.282 - 023 219 558 [$$|CC] Himawari Hotel Luxury apartments on the riverfront, geared towards long-term residents. 313, Sisowath Quay - 023 214 555 [$$$|CC] Holiday Villa Centrally-located, colonial designed 4-star hotel with modern amenities. 89, Monivong Boulevard - 023 990 999 [$$|CC] Hope & Anchor Spacious, elegant, fully-equipped rooms with views across the Tonle Sap river. 213, Sisowath Quay - 023 991 190 [$$] Imperial Garden Hotel Superior rooms, suites and villas overlooking the Tonle Sap river. 315, Sisowath Quay - 023 219 991 [$$$|CC] Indochine 2 Basic, inexpensive guesthouse located near the riverfront. 30, St.130 - 012 575 565 [<$-$] InterContinental Hotel One of the city's finest hotels with a swimming pool and all amenities. 296, Mao Tsé Toung (Regency Square) - 023 424 888 [$$$|CC] Juliana Hotel One of Phnom Penh's premier business and leisure hotels with a spa, salon and more. 16, St.152 - 023 880 530 [$$$|CC] Last Home (The) Now in a new location – the original Last Home guest house has moved... 21, St.172 - 012 831 702 [<$-$] Le Lyon D'Or Popular, comfortable French-owned guesthouse located just off the riverfront. 12-14, St.110 - 023 224 298 [$-$$|CC] Hotel Le Royal A fully restored classic hotel with spa, swimming pool, shops and more. St.92. by Monivong Blvd. - 023 981 888 www.raffles.com [$$$|CC] L’Imprévu Bungalows with all amenities, swimming pool, tennis courts, petanque and more. National Rd 1, 6km after Monivong bridge 023 360 405 [$] Manita Quiet little guesthouse with a pleasant breeze and a green, fresh atmosphere. 48, St.9 - 023 218 357 [$] Manor House Boutique guesthouse with pool in a quiet area close to all amenities. Gay-friendly. 21, St.262 - 023 992 566 [$] Nordic House Apartments and rooms with AC, cable TV and DVD, hot water and a balcony. 22, St.136 - 023 998 676 [$-$$] One More Boarding House Four quiet rooms with all facilities including WI-FI, a flat screen TV and a cosy pub downstairs. German owned. 16, St.294 - 017 327 378 [$$] Pavilion (The) Boutique hotel with all amenities and a 14m swimming pool. Free WIFI for guests. 227, St.19 - 012 344 258 [$$-$$$|CC] Phnom Penh Hotel Upscale hotel featuring superior rooms, spa, swimming pool and all amenities. 53, Monivong Blvd - 023 991 868 [$$$|CC] The Quay Phnom Penh's first carbon-friendly hotel, centrally located right on the riverfront. 277, Sisowath Quay - 023 224 894 [$$$|CC] Red Orchid Two rooms available with fridge, TV, CD player and free laundry service. 14B, St.278 - 016 777 681 [$] Rory's Guesthouse Irish pub and guesthouse, conveniently located near the National Museum. 33, St.178 - 012 425 702 [$] Rose Guesthouse Beautifully appointed rooms with all amenities located near the riverfront. 8, St.104 - 012 992 197 [$$-$$$|CC] Royal Hotel Good value hotel located on the riverfront. Spa and massage services available. 383, Sisowath Quay. - 023 219 436 [$-$$|CC] Scandinavia Hotel One of the city's premier boutique hotels with 16 immaculately furnished rooms. Great swimming pool and a lush garden setting. 4, St.282 - 023 214 498 www.hotel-scandinavia-cambodia.com [$$|CC] Sokha Heng Guesthouse Centrally located, featuring 21 spacious, comfortable and elegant rooms. 29, St.178 - 023 990 077, 012 526 616 [$$] Sunway Hotel An international four-star hotel located by Wat Phnom in the centre of the city. 1, St.92 - 023 430 333 [$$$|CC] Tonle Sap Guest House 15 comfortable rooms with all amenities, including AC, TV, HW, bath and fridge. 24-hour pub and restaurant. Only 50 metres from the riverfront (opposite the express boat port). 4-6, St.104 - 023 986 722 www.tonlesapguesthouse.com [$-$$|CC] Villa Langka Boutique hotel with swimming pool in a quiet location near Independence Monument. 14, St.282 - 023 726 771 [$$-$$$|CC] Walkabout Hotel Popular mid-range hotel in centre of town with 24-hour restaurant and two bars. 109, St.51 - 023 211 715 www.walkabouthotel.com [$-$$|CC] Winking Frog (The) 39 new rooms with a modern bar and restaurant downstairs. Great location. Sothearos Boulevard (close to Almond Hotel) 023 356 399 [$-$$] Woolly Rhino Irish-owned and managed guesthouse, bar and restaurant on the riverfront. 79, Sisowath Quay - 012 712 892 [<$-$] Top |